August 6, 2000
He preferred to believe in the existence of mysterious forces around him, even moving through him. It wasnt a very High intellectual thing to want to think perhaps, more of a low culture thing....but there it was. In reality however he thought everything flat and uninteresting much of the time. And yes, he knew the critique that therein lay a heavy fascist moment, gravid with the dark or opaque moments which often passed for the mystical in this culture. He was often doubtful whether any such thing as the mystical even existed anymore, indeed whether it COULD exist anymore, given the blinding glare of the tv screen and the net, their continual needs for exposure, and the continual quest for speed in all areas of culture and life now. Didnt the mystical require a drastic speed reduction (if not stoppage)? Didnt the mystical require hiding places, and hiding places not only in the external environment but also in the human soul? Didnt the mystical need the protection of secrets? And how can we (that is this clulture) have such a thing anymore? People become inflamed at the mention of secrets, some rushing to shed as much light as possible, dispell any possibity of the secret containing anything of any efficacious portent: no prophesies, no directions to hidden lands, hidden psyches, nothing worth your time there pal, no need to even look there fellow. And then some rush to embrace wholeheartedly without any sort of analytical glance at all, willing to extrapolate the consequences of the secret onto every available surface, whether appropriate or not. Its a toss-up as to which is more injurious of the mystical.
He was unclear where he stood on the whole matter. (oh thats a very bad thing also: one must always know where one stands on any issue of the day, be ready to formulate an intelligent and perceptive response to everything that would come his way. In other words, one must be willing to be pegged into the apropriate demographic hole, according to which various pie charts and statistical tables will be constructed and talk radio pundits will be able to configure amunition to attempt to devastate their opponents or just simply infuriate anyone who happens to be listening. Most of which has very little to do with your opinion per se.)
At any rate, the idea of the mystical had to do with, he was sure, some idea of inaccessibility. And there was no idea more dangerous now than such a thing. It seemed to strike at the very core of the roiling ant hill which civilisation had become. To become inaccessible is now an affront of monumental import in some circles, whether the difficulty of some books (obscurantist I believe they are called) or maybe of some high art artifacts. Accessibility is now repeated as a mantra of desire, almost a religious term cast in terms of communication, a new papal bull. Like some timorous old lady in the produce section of the grocery store overhearing someone speaking in a foreign language and being sure that they are saying something about her, the inacessible and the obscure seem to have a reflective component which throws us back on ourselves, becoming a gauge of our own fugitive impotencies, magnifying them even into a monumental paranoia. If there is a secret, the secret must be about ME. If there is a secret, it can only mean that something is being kept from me which is rightfully mine.
The curious thing though is that televison and the movies had become a continual barrage of occult examinations and dramatizations, driven to ever greater speculative heights because of the new possiblities given by special effects now (to be sure this speculation was of an intensely visual sort and in many ways was simply a fulfullment of ancient occult and religious texts---from the point of view of the new environment there was no difference between the two.)8.15.00My email is down and has been for 5 days now. i always take its connectivity for granted until its not there anymore. This is beginning to feel like a kind of ending. No prelude, no fanfare, somebody just pulls the plug and thats it. And there isnt really any recourse. I can see that in the future there will be a quality of (threatened) excommunication to life. If you misbehave, you get tossed off-line, with no access to services and goods. You would be free to do whatever you wanted but from a certain p.o.v. you would be more like a p.o.w.