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February 3, 2005 Thursday

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Open Improv
9:00PM - - -
First Thursday of every month -- monthly open improv night!


This month's theme:
NEW WORLD ORDER: Aliens from Zeta Reticuli landed, destroying all C-Major Chords

Wed Feb 2, 2005 12:57 PM ET
ATLANTA (Reuters)

It has now been confirmed that aliens have taken over certain aspects of American life, starting with a little known art and music gallery in Atlanta Georgia.

EYEDRUM art and music gallery is apparently the epicentre for a plague of events which are just now coming to light. Apparently this unknown force from beyond time and space has found a way to selectively destroy, or at least radically alter, all C-Major chords, and allied musical formations within the human species. Personnel at the aforementioned eyedrum gallery are believed to be somehow infected with a type of nano-structure which facilitates this destruction or alteration. It is unknown exactly how many humans are associated with the gallery, and specifically with the alteration of the C-major chord.

The C-Major chord has long been known to be one of the primary musical structures, along with allied chordings, known to create happiness, prosperity, and a sense of well-being. It is unknown to what degree the humans associated with the little known Atlanta gallery are cooperating with this alien force and whether they are purposely trying to make people 'feel bad' or whether there are other motivations behind the somewhat enigmatic actions at the gallery. Other galleries contacted by reporters were apparently leery of making any public statements. The Atlanta Bureau of Cultural Affairs, who have been known to provide support for events, when contacted said they had no idea what this reporter was talking about and threatened to have us removed if we did not leave the premises. One person who wishes to remain anonymous said "I've seen it coming for quite some time now...none of us involved locally know what to make of it." It is not known however how far the 'infection' has spread since the anonymous informant, not connected with EYEDRUM ART AND MUSIC GALLERY, noticeably flinched during the interview as Brittany Spears and then Usher came on the radio in the background.

It is understood that there will be some sort of gathering at the eyedrum space on Thursday February 3, around 9 pm, said purpose apparently to further promote the alteration and maybe even destruction of the venerated C-Chord. Authorities have viewed the website at http://www.eyedrum.org and found little cause for alarm. However it is thought that the Zeta Reticuli aliens are using some sort of on-line coding (called 'steganography') to spread the unknown cognitive contagion. Potential viewers are warned to use caution and common sense in viewing the site. At the first signs of discomfort, viewers are urged to contact their local philosopher since it is not known how latent the alien structure is in all musicians.


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