Yes folks, you heard it second here! Ripped from tomorrow s headlines!

You knew it had to happen!

Welcome to the New Culture of Global Capital---the Post-Mortem Condition!

DEAD WORKERS!!

Robert Cheatham did not write this. But he wants to claim it for his own. He wants you to believe that 1) what the story reports is true and that, somehow, he will leave it to you to explain, and 2) that he is in fact "Anwar Basarah" and that this is an indication that we will truly be entering the third millennium in The Post-Mortem Condition where the gap between the living and the dead has finally been breached, the dream, after all, of the previous three millenniums. Yes, here is truly the final frontier for colonization of impulses by capital long after they have become extinguished, a global economy of the dead that becomes invaluable in that it augurates another dream of the species, the self-perpetuating machine, a "machine" that eats its own decay products, forming a totally enclosed ontology far surpassing anything the ancient Egyptians could conceive and a propaedeutic for the Doll Universe, coming soon to a consciousness near you.

from The Weekly World News:

WORKING STIFFS!

Companies Hiring Corpses to Replace Live Workers

by Anwar Basarah

Singapore -- Top companies throughout the Far East are saving millions of dollars by using a cheap new breed of worker: Corpses!

The dead employees are specially processed to prevent decay, then dressed and used for everything from movie extras to security guards. They are working out so well that experts worry lifeless laborers will soon replace billions of working folk around the world.

"For a small initial investment, companies can have at their disposal a whole assortment of types--children, old men, fat men or shapely women--and use them to fill a variety of needs," says Atal Bakht, head of the employment agency Departed Personnel of New Delhi, India. "There are no salary disputes, costly benefits, health insurance fees or labor problems.

"Of course, dead workers are not suitable for all types of jobs, but it s surprising how many positions they can fill successfully."

Bakht and other innovators in the field say dead workers are easy to come by: they aresold to suppliers by relatives or purchased from city morgues glad to rid themselves of unclaimed bodies for a small fee. As employees, they are ideal for jobs which require looking good but not necessarily doing anything.

In security work, for example, a defunct man can be dressed in a police uniform and positioned near a window or glass door where he is visible to passersby, leaving the impression that a facility or building is under guard.

Women can use dead males as "escorts" that ride next to them in their automobiles, offering protection and peace of mind. Men can use good-looking dead females as "escorts" to impress their friends.

"Already, movie directors are using thousands of dead extras in films being produced in Singapore and India, >" Bakht said. "They re great for crowd scenes. And they can be used as models for clothing ads in catalogues. Everyday we think of new uses for them."

But while the new trend is being greeted with enthusiasm by cost-cutting execs all over the world, labor experts worry that it might put billions of living laborers out of jobs.

"Those dead people don t need paychecks or rest rooms." said Anatole Rumorsky, an economist who specializes in labor trends. "And there s an endless supply -- they re literally dying to work. Living laborers can t compete with them.

Once this idea catches on, it s going to increase unemployment dramatically."

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