12 Step Subvertisement

Public Domain, Inc. would like to announce the formation of a new 12-step group, AddAn (Addicted [to everything] Anonymous). The group will meet every night in your living room and everyone in the world is invited. The goal of the group is to create a more healthy outlook for all people. We hope to enable everyone to function normally. There will no longer be dissent, conflict, war, poverty, hunger. Through an acknowledgement that we are all powerless over our addiction-to-everything and that our lives are unmanageable we will begin the road to recovery together. We will simply surrender. Give up. Pray to Power for the wisdom to distinguish between things we can change [nothing] and things we can't [everything else]. In time you too can come to understand that peace of mind is derived from doing what you're told, and accepting that you have but one measure of success: your job. First and foremost you are a "worker". In the sixties, drug-crazed hippies sought to "tune in, turn on & drop out". In the nineties, we have come to know that this is impossible. Now we need only embrace the truth: "acquiese, turn it up, die". YOU are responsible for the sickness of the world. The sooner you acknowledge this and clean-up your corner of the cosmos through total capitulation, the sooner we can together achieve total capitalization and commodification. We ask for your support in helping build a more reasonnable, rational & truly enlightened world. remember: We are all addicted, we are all in need of recovery, we all need to work to support the few already in recovery. Only a recovering addict can help another addict. Because many of you may be new to this process let me reassure you: you are not capable of thinking for yourself or sustaining a rebellion against the Already Mighty. Lay down your burdens and accept your fate. You are dead. This is not a BAD thing, it's a good thing. You can still walk and you can still work. Being dead relieves you of all responsibility. Now, get up, get dressed, go to work. Afterall, it's another happy day in the zombiehood.

have a coke and smile!

the twelve steps:

  1. ACCEPT [your own powerlessness]
  2. BELIEVE [in Power]
  3. SURRENDER [to Power]
  4. CONFESS [to self as rehearsal for step 5]
  5. CONFESS [to Other, preferably a representative of Power]
  6. PREPARE [for total submission]
  7. PURIFY [ask to be relieved of responsibilities & resulting defects]
  8. ENSCRIBE [a list of all people you have harmed, i.e., write down the names of everyone in the world]
  9. ATONE [give "things" to people to relieve your own guilt]
  10. POLICE [yourself & continuously acknowledge how wrong you are]
  11. TRANSFORMATION [through constant contact with Power]
  12. PROSELYTIZE [induce others to join]